Journal Entry 20180529

This may sound like a strange thing, but I find myself stuck in a creative rut. Since being left to live alone in my house (my brother has moved south to Philadelphia), I’ve drastically reorganized my life. I’ve cleaned the house, I’ve set a schedule of chores for myself (that I’ve mostly kept to), I’ve begun concentrating on exercise and a healthier sleep schedule, and I’ve been noticeable losing weight. However, I’m finding that there’s a disappointing gap in my own productivity related to my creative aspirations (both in fiction and in programming) despite the positive impact elsewhere. This hurts me, because I think of my creative development as of the highest importance (and the most gratifying aspect of my personal abilities), so stagnation in this way casts a bad light on the rest of my achievements.

I’ve been spending some time generating more ideas – on the level of broad, question-begging, overly-complex ideas that are impractical to immediately begin implementing. I haven’t been writing them down or doing more elaboration on them than the surface level, finding-my-first-principles level of probing into their possibility as paths worth pursuing. It’s time I started doing both of those things.

Right now, I’m becoming more trapped in thoughts concerning which technologies I should use rather than thinking about what project I want to tackle (or which aspect of a larger project I should tackle first). This type of thinking is obviously premature, and it truly reveals my creatively productive paralysis.

** IDEA: I should write more about my thoughts in this vein. Whether or not it is in itself a creative output, at least I’ll be able to lay out and productively analyze my own thoughts on how I could become productively creative in a way that is gratifying and efficient.

OK, so, that being said, I’ll start working on some thoughts to write down.

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